How to revisit the past

 

It’s an odd feeling to realize how little my past life has to do with my current one. My entire existence was once defined by immediate surroundings––my grandparents’ house with its bare-bones kitchen and outdoor bathroom. Primitive, to be sure, but somehow saturated with strict yet loving discipline.

Some of us need not just to change our lives, but to replace them––so that today’s new edition completely eclipses whatever took place before, and it no longer has any power to color our worldview. (This, of course, requires time and determination.) The memories are still vivid, but the impact has somehow become negligible.

The only exception is just before you fall asleep at night, when your groggy mind drifts backward to a time and place when/where you worried that perhaps life would never get any better. The remedy: Forgive yourself for indulging, however momentarily, in some self-congratulations for having surmounted so many obstacles. You deserve it.

Then make a conscious choice: Where would you prefer to focus your energy now? Back there––or right here? The answer is obvious, but ask yourself the question anyway. Speak your answer aloud.

Next, ask: What did that experience teach you? If what springs immediately to mind is something negative, like “Don’t trust anyone, not ever,” then you aren’t yet out of the woods. Think of something positive. Like that you gained an ability to stand up for yourself. Or that an inner wisdom now chooses your friends and allies. Like how much you enjoy having your passion sitting right in front of you every day. Not everyone gets that lucky.

It sounds as if I’m urging you never to revisit your past. That’s not the case. I think you can still pull it out of its locked box from time to time, turn it around, examine it from all angles and give it proper credit for having helped to create the person you are today. But then put it back, close the lid and turn the key. Don’t leave it free to roam, or worse, to follow you around for any longer than it already has.

 

 

 


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