Rejoice…

 

“Rejoice in life’s disappointments, because if you look closely enough, you will see the marvelous opportunities that exist in those situations.”

This is one of my favorite aphorisms––but early on, it was so very difficult to accept. Like most of us, I occasionally, though briefly, caught myself wallowing in my own misfortune.

Being cast out of a relative’s home not long after I’d arrived in the U.S. and being relegated to sleeping in my car seemed to me like the end of a long, painful road. But it led to a connection with a woman who would become my wife. Our eventual breakup also seemed like the worst possible outcome. Dropping out of college seemed like an abysmal setback as well. But both led to resurrected gumption, renewed focus and standing up for myself. Both forced my hand, instead of giving me permission to stagnate for what could have been years.

Here is what I believe trips up so many people: They mistake a yield sign for a stop sign. They think that life has taken a permanent detour and left them hanging. They assume that bad luck will follow them…forever.

Well, it won’t, not unless you allow it to.

Disappointments are the very best learning experiences. We learn very little when we’re warm, fed, dry, comfortable, successful and provided for. We learn far more when we’re discombobulated, perhaps even head-over-heels in misery. Forced to look closer at ourselves, we’re free to allow some inconvenient truths. Like: Maybe we don’t really want to work overly hard for our successes; we want them to show up with as little effort as possible. Maybe we aren’t always the good guys in our relationships; perhaps we enjoy taking far more than we ever give back. You get the idea.

So whenever things start to head south, you need first to examine your own role in having made that happen. And second, to evaluate what needs to take place now. What kinds of opportunities await? How quickly can you embrace them? Most importantly: Are you really willing to do that? It is what must happen in order to see things change.

 

 

 


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